Unpopular Opinion: Top Knots and Man Buns Are Ugly

                                                Channel 4

Back in my days of watching Made in Chelsea (can’t promise they’re completely over) one of my favourite things was laughing at the guys haircuts. I completely respect the “each to their own” attitude, but I had to shudder at the top knot. There was no understanding why nobody would say how ridiculous this hairstyle looked.

Then I went to America for a year – the land of reasonably normal hair cuts. When I came back to London over Christmas, an epidemic was underway, where every guy on the tube I saw looked like an impersonation of a Made in Chelsea character. I grimaced and felt grateful my time at home was limited, hoping this wrong would right itself in my absence.

However, to my horror the opposite was true. Every arrogant, hipster and self-righteous guy seemed to adopt the top knot. And no one was complaining.

I was the only one looking on in confusion about how growing a small area of hair and then scraping it into a pathetic tuft of a ponytail is seemingly attractive. But apparently a lot of people thought it looked good, because it began spreading like wildfire and has now firmly reached the US in slightly less awful but still horrible style of a man bun.

As this Buzzfeed article shows, more recently a wide array of celebrities have adopted “man buns”. I don’t understand why. Since when has it been a bad thing to let loose those luscious locks? And really, what is the point in trying, when clearly things aren’t going your way?

                                    Buzzfeed

But this epidemic doesn’t seem to be stopping, with male idols like Harry Styles taking the plunge, and Kit Harringdon showing up to 2014's Emmy Awards with his hair wrapped around a hair band, it seems to be a craze that will get worse before it gets better.

Now, I love long hair on a guy as much as the next ex-emo kid, but it’s the arrogance that seems to accompany the people who adopt the man buns. You can see the judgement in their eyes, the belief that they are better than you because they too can put their hair up, and goddammit they do so with pride. It’s a fashion statement, not an ease of action to get your hair out of your face, or for religious / cultural beliefs.

This is how I style my hair for the shower.
Then and only then.

Recently I worried I was being too harsh. Judgement shouldn't be passed on anyone and I don't want to discriminate against individuals (plus one or two people I know with this choice of hairstyle are actually quite nice). But then I came across a Tinder bio belonging to a guy with a very aggressive man bun, saying in his description "Reality consists of more than simply the physical realm – therefore I refuse to play by your rules" and felt that I should rest my case.

All I can hope for is that this to all blow over soon, and in a few years, like we do now with the 00s OTT highlights, 90s bowl cut, 80s perm and 70s mullet, sit back and say what were they THINKING?

P.S. If you wish to debate me, I am happy to hear WHY top knots and man buns are great, but I can’t accept responses of ‘they just are’.
P.P.S. Edit on 5/5/15 – I recognise I may have been a little harsh when labelling all guys arrogant and judgemental. Since moving out of London this isn't the case. I still believe it's an epidemic of a 99% unflattering hairstyle, but I accept it can also just be a hipster thing, the person doesn't have to be an asshole.